


Kiss Me Forever

by DrawYourGunsR5



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Farah calls Todd a fucking dumbass because he is, I'm pulling out all the cliches I can think of, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Road Trip, Smoking, Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, accidental love confession, and he needed to hear it, car breaks down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21648373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrawYourGunsR5/pseuds/DrawYourGunsR5
Summary: Todd has accepted that Dirk doesn't love him back and decided to keep it a secret forever. But then their car breaks down and Todd is alone with Dirk and he realizes it's hard to keep a secret from his best friend.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 3
Kudos: 105





	Kiss Me Forever

The first day was the hardest. Todd wanted it to go away, but once he knew it was there, it was all he could think about. Farah knew, she told him that it’ll get easier as time goes on. And it did. A week later, Todd still struggled with it, but at least he could look at Dirk without feeling like he was actively dying. After a few months, yearning became a part of his routine. It sucked, but he was used to it. He was so fucking in love that it didn’t even matter. Loving Dirk Gently became a part of who Todd Brotzman is, and it killed him every time he remembered that Dirk didn’t love him back.

“You should tell him,” Farah nudged.

Todd pulled his pillow over his head. “It’s too early for this Farah. I asked for coffee, not relationship advice.”

She grabbed the pillow and tossed it off his bed. “You’re miserable, Todd. It doesn’t take a genius to see that.”

“I’m not miserable.” He sat up. “But I will be if I tell him and he leaves.”

“He won’t leave. He loves you too, why can’t you see that?”

Todd shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because every time the topic of romance comes up he can’t wait to talk about all of the lovely things Michael does for him and how much he loves Michael and how he can’t wait for Michael to officially ask him out.”

Farah rolled her eyes. “God, you’re a fucking dumbass. Whatever. But you can’t be sad about this forever. You and Dirk need to drive down to Nevada today, so buck up kiddo.”

Todd groaned and fell back into the bed.

A twelve hour car ride with Dirk sounded like Todd’s best nightmare. Their drives were always fun - if Todd was driving. They would listen to music and joke around and forget about the stress of the case until they arrived at their destination. It was during one of those long drives when Todd realized that he was in love with Dirk - and he nearly crashed the car at the discovery. He didn’t want to risk that again, but he loved spending time with Dirk, especially during a case when they were too busy to talk about anything outside of work.

The first few hours went on like a breeze. They rocked out to some band neither of them knew the name of, they ate greasy fast food, and laughed at a street sign with a spelling error. They only had four hours left in their trip when the car started making a funny noise.

After Todd insisting it was fine and Dirk telling him it obviously wasn’t and that they should pull over, Todd eventually pulled over.

The sun was getting ready to set over the empty horizon. Nothing could be seen in any direction. The road went on and on for miles, and no one else was driving on it.

It was a scene from a rom-com, Todd noticed. Because of course the universe would put him right into the middle of a rom-com.

He popped the hood.

“See? I knew we should have pulled over!” Dirk exclaimed.

“What are you talking about? Everything looks fine.”

“Yes but what about that little thingy there?” He pointed to a little belt that was still perfectly in place.

“That’s where it belongs Dirk. Look, I don’t know enough about cars to figure this out if the problem isn’t obvious. Can you call a tow truck or Farah or something?”

Dirk gave him a slight nod and wondered a few feet away while he called. 

Todd leaned against the side of the car and lit a cigarette. The stress began to leave his body as the nicotine high filled him.

“Okay, the tow truck lady said someone will be here within eight hours.”

“We have to wait eight hours?”

“No, Todd, she said  _ within  _ eight hours. So at most it will be seven hours and 59 minutes.”

Todd rolled his eyes with a smile and flicked the end of the cigarette, watching the ashes fall to the ground. Dirk joined next to him leaning against the car.

“I thought you quit smoking.”

Todd shrugged and took another hit.

“Can I try it?”

Todd raised an eyebrow. “You know you’ll hate it.”

Dirk put his hand out demandingly and Todd handed him the half empty cigarette.

“Okay, just put the end of it in your mouth and inhale slowly-”

Dirk gave him a slight  _ look  _ before taking a hit and handing it back to Todd as he exhaled the smoke away.

Todd looked at him quizzically. “Where’d you learn to do that? And how are you not dying? I coughed for a good twenty minutes after my first time.”

Dirk shrugged. “I did have a life before I met you, you know.”

“Oh?” He took another long drag, finishing the cigarette.

“I’m joking. I’ve smoked with Amanda a few times. It’s awful, I don’t understand why you like you so much.”

Todd flicked the butt to the ground and stepped on it. “I don’t, but it helps with the nerves.”

“You nervous about something?”

_ I’m always nervous around you,  _ is what he wanted to say. But instead he said, “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“How many times have we been in the middle of nowhere together, Todd?”

_ I didn’t know I was in love with you then.  _ “Not like this.”

“Oh?”

_ This is different.  _ “This is different.”

“What’s different?”

_ “I love you.” _

“Oh.”

Todd’s heart skipped. Did he actually say that part out loud? Fuck. What the fuck. He covered his face with his hands. “Shit.”

“Todd, did you just say you-”

“I did. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

Dirk shifted his weight against the car. “Since when?”

Todd pulled his hands down and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked down at the ground. The cigarette butt was being inspected by a handful of ants. “A few months ago?”

“And you didn't tell me?”

The pain in Todd chest rose up into his throat. “What was I supposed to say? _Hey Dirk, I know you’re still learning about who you are and what you’re into and I’m the first person to ever be your friend and I want to ruin all of that because I’m in love with you and you don’t feel the same way._ ”

“It wouldn’t have ruined anything.”

Todd was shivering. It wasn’t cold out there in the Nevada sun, but everything his life relied on could be coming to a screeching halt. His whole body was shaking. “Right. Because you’d go on normally with your life knowing that your best friend is in love with you. Michael would be so happy to find out, too. He’d be fine with you living in the room right next door to the guy who can’t sleep because he’s thinking about you all night.”

“Wait. Michael? What’s Michael got to do with anything?”

“You’re obviously into him! You can’t stop talking about how wonderful he is.”

“He’s just my friend, Todd.”

Todd scoffed. “Sure, yeah, I said that to my parents about my high school boyfriend, too.  _ Don’t worry, mom and dad, he’s just a friend, I’m straight.  _ Right, and then he fucked me in our basement.”

Dirk eyes widened. “Jesus, Todd, do you really think-”

“Yes!” He took a deep breath. “Can we just talk about anything else right now? We can finish up the case and I’ll-”

Todd couldn’t finish his thought, which was probably a good thing. Dirk was kissing him, which was  _ definitely  _ a good thing. Dirk’s hands were on the back of Todd’s neck, pulling him closer. Todd melted into the kiss, he opened his mouth and gratefully accepted Dirk in. His hands wrapped around Dirk’s back. Dirk turned so Todd’s back was up against the car. Their bodies were pressed together perfectly.

The kiss could have gone on forever. Todd was dizzy and flying and Dirk tasted like cinnamon and cigarette smoke and it was such a wonderful combination. He stopped shivering, his whole body felt warm pressed against Dirk’s. There was something intoxicating about the moment.

Dirk pulled away slowly. “I  _ like  _ you, Todd. I like you so much. I don’t know why you thought I was into Michael. But holy shit, I’ve wanted to kiss you for months and I thought  _ you  _ would freak out. You’re right, I am still figuring out what I like and I’m still not entirely sure what that all entails but I know that I like you, Todd, and kissing you feels like… Home. It feels right and good and safe and I want to do that forever, I think.”

Todd could almost feel tears beginning to pool in his eyes from the overwhelming feeling of joy erupting from his chest. He couldn’t contain it. 

“Then do it. Kiss me forever.”


End file.
